Temperatures keep dropping in Sunshine City, sending barefooted children scampering all around digging for that two-in-one winter jersey that ‘ambuya’ knitted together and this signals the beginning of the rainy season in Africa. The rainy season comes with a lot of expectations and oh-so-happy moments that includes maize planting and also marks the beginning of the festive season.
I have taken refuge from the rains and the muddy roads that seem to be the norm in my bedroom which should not come as any surprise to anyone. I would rather have hidden on my couch watching Disney but I might have forgotten to get the load shedding schedule and have adapted to the electricity shortages during the day and early nights.
I am normally a positive person and one can always hear me on the “smile Ancy” tip but even I have days when I am bundled up indoors and listening to the rain when I feel fifty shades of ‘I-do-not-know-what’s happening’ in my life . The beginning of the rain was a sign that I needed to throw out to the garbage man all the insecurities and the negative thoughts harbored on my docking yard and embrace a mosaic painting of imperfection .
So yesterday in my ugly yellow greenish socks and a pair of baggy jeans and singing out loud to ‘we are never ever getting back together,’ I threw away all the insecurities she made me feel for the Grinch of happiness to steal. She being the curvy, dimpled, ruby-lipped girl I once called friend whose definition of friendship was me, me, me and me. For a while I tolerated her and allowed her to make me feel like a badly burnt pancake and I gave her space in my head when she could barely afford the rent.
Sometimes we all have to absorb the rain and pack away our umbrellas and allow the rain to wash away the insecurity and the doubt we feel. We cannot keep on holding on to stones, sticks and hope that it will magically change into diamonds. So friend, I do not know who belittles you, what makes you feel incompetent but let today be the day you let it go and embrace the ‘happy you’.
Til next time
Ancillar has a ridiculous sense of humor and is on a mission not to melt in sunshine city .