Naming Emotions- My theory of Love (Pt 1/2)

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“There is no universal definition to what True Love love is; instead it’s something we alone can truly define.” Mandla Ginger.

“Time is both friend and foe, what it helped build today, it can destroy tomorrow.” Mandla Ginger.

In case i don’t get to be yours tomorrow, I want our story to last longer than time itself.

My days before you happened are a little bit distorted because i can’t remember a me without you. That is why this will exist. Let this be the letter or story we leave to our children and let them learn from us, the battles we fought, the wars we chose never to surrender.

Let them know that there’s more to life than just constant happiness.

If we don’t win this battle then. Then let our story be a lesson to someone tomorrow. Let them learn that not every mistake can be forgiven. Let them understand that love is about careful consideration of every decision made.

It gives me cold chills when i remember the days that are past me. The shadows that lurk in the tainted images of my past experiences would not provide anyone with the merit of earning any Christian recognition of being saintly because then I was everything I’m not now.

I was the man mothers mostly warned their daughters about. But that was only because I lived in pain with all the pieces of my broken heart.

But no-one was to blame for it because every decision that led me in that direction was my call. I always chose the wrong girl and did everything right. The biggest problem with doing the right things for the wrong person is all your efforts are just merely dissolved and nullified within history. It’s just worthless efforts that will soon be forgotten.

But the defining moment of all this; isn’t you deciding you quit being the perfect guy to the whole world but it’s deciding that you will go an extra mile for the next girl.

So I’m not a victim of my past in fact I am a student of all my experiences.
**
The new chapter in my life began when a friend of mine who had witnessed my last break up, she decided to intervene in my girlfriend decision making. I think it was that obvious that I was that clumsy, because if you constantly have a heart that keeps getting broken you need to stay away from the girls with butter fingers who have higher chances of dropping your heart. Instead I needed a more divine intervention.

Despite of all my constant protests to stay away from the dating world for a while, she never listened instead she insisted that I interact with one of her friends. A girl who had suffered her own adversaries.
From her description, I could tell that the girl she wanted me to meet was a real keeper. I constantly imagined a woman who went through all that i had vowed to never be to a woman.

I mean I’m a momma’s boy and I have sisters so i do get what a man should never be to a woman. So by all means, I needed to do the right things again but only this time it was to the potential right girl.

1). The first day I got your number, I was both scared and nervous because I knew I had one shot to make the perfect first impression. It took me a week to finally build up the courage to do so.

2. The moment I finally talked to you, I found your sense of humour amusing but what made you appealing more was your humility.

3). I fell in love with you, way before I met you in person. I fell for the woman I spoke with everyday. I remember how smitten I felt; like a teenager with his first crush because you made me view the world and life differently.

4). You were a breath of fresh air from every other girl, your drive to be self independent enlightened my approach to you. I knew with you I would have to be different if I was going to win you over. But this wasn’t something I needed to strategize on as I initially had assumed but instead all it took me, was to be just plain ordinary me and you loved me for me exactly.

5). The first day I saw you; I remember the first moment I set my eyes on you, I had to catch my breath because you were more beautiful in person.
You had red lipstick and it complimented your lips, yes I imagined what it would feel like to kiss your sexy lips.
And then your eyes had a certain glow to them.
You were in jeans, so I couldn’t help but stare at your ass when I walked behind you.

6). You actually thought I stared at you funny, little did you know that my stare was an expression of admiration and adoration.
All I wanted was you.
And I wanted to earn your heart the right way. I wanted to learn the true value of love from what we were set to build.

“Love is beyond the object of desire, it is a feeling constructed with letting our minds rest on faith”. Mandla Ginger.

7). The first day I walked you home. Yes you were in jeans again, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on that ass again. Well rounded and petite, it was the perfect fit for my hands.
While I kept on being distracted, we got lost. Lol. It was point blank hilarious but despite that it meant I would spend more time with you. And those extra seconds, the minutes they turned into, were all worth it. I didn’t want that moment to end because i was wrapped up in your attention and I had multiple moments of just stealing kisses.
8). The next morning things were different; you were acting off, I didn’t understand why instead I was confused. Only until I put careful thought in it did I realise you wanted us defined. You didn’t want to be just another girl. You wanted to be my girl.
It took me time still to ask you out. To make it official and with all my nerves, I screwed up the proposal. It sucked!! But it wasn’t how I proposed to you that mattered but it’s the fact that I did that mattered the most.
She said yes, my heart skipped a pattern of beats in fact it was a complete discord until it finally beat in sync with hers.
We found the right frequency that meant our hearts would always beat together.

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