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The Haunting Shadow of a Single Lady

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Almost everyone has that single friend who no matter what says she’s ok with being single and enjoys her life so much that you can even begin to envy her. Her life seems to be perfect, well on track and drama-free but have you ever asked yourself if she doesn’t have her own dramas that could  probably be complicated more than your dating issues. Well, in this case, the single girl in my friend’s circle happens to me and this is my story…

I wake up each day, look out of my window and see one or two couples jogging past my house. All I do is smile, tell myself that I’m better off single then run off to my yoga work-out. I’ve always been that friend who gives that “follow your heart” or “move on, it’s not the end of the world, happiness waits for you out there!” advice and I’ve realised that I’m pretty good at it. What makes me good at it is because I understand very well the experiences my friends would be going through but wait a minute…who gives such advice to a single lady? If I was in an American movie I’d go to a single ladies club but unfortunately, I haven’t come across one here.

I’ve come to a point in life where I don’t want to date someone just for the sake or following others and I’ve built a wall to protect myself from falling in love but guess what? The same wall I built to protect myself is the one that is keeping the love away from me. Ask any single lady, there’s always that guy who drives you crazy but you just don’t want to admit that you’re falling for him. In such a case it’s really hard to find someone who can help you pull yourself together because its not everyone who went through your situation or even knows the “chronicles of a single lady”. The question then is who understands what I go through? Maybe I should first ask how many single ladies admit that there’s that guy who drives them crazy but still feel they can’t give up their “independence”?

Well I was one of them up until I decided to share with you how much I’m running away from my own shadow. Trying as much as possible to keep myself from falling in love but the more I run is the harder I fall. At some point in this frantic race I distanced myself away from the guy and had to swallow a huge lump in my throat as I lied to him that I didn’t love him and didn’t want to see him again. I’m sure this one doesn’t touch single ladies only even those who are dating at some point lie that they don’t love someone when they really do.

What makes such a case difficult to tackle for any other person is how to deal with the pain of saying no to the person you love for whatever reasons you have. Actually what name can you give to such pain? It’s not a heartbreak so what is it? How can I be helped? How can I even describe what I’m feeling? I’m sure that I’m not the only one who’s afraid of falling in love (even guys are afraid too) or probably is blaming herself for saying no when your heart gave a big yes. If you’re like me, share your story, we’ll help each other live that happy single life without shutting out the love of those who love us. Remember, your smile can only be a true reflection of happiness if you have happiness in your heart.

journalism student, fun loving, free mind, photography lover, O.V.O

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